"From Busyness to Relatedness"

"There is a pervasive form of contemporary violence...[and that is] activism and overwork. The rush and pressure of modern life are a form, perhaps the most common form, of its innate violence.

To allow oneself to be carried away by a multitude of conflicting concerns, to surrender to too many demands, to commit oneself to too many projects, to want to help everyone in everything, is to succumb to violence.

  The frenzy of our activism neutralizes our work for peace. It destroys our own inner capacity for peace. It destroys the fruitfulness of our own work, because it kills the root of inner wisdom which makes work fruitful."
Thomas Merton

Dear Friends,
It was a startling realization, but in the depths of despair it came to me: I am not going to single handedly save the world. All this frantic busyness has got to stop! There is enough chaos in the world without my creating more. Yes, of course there are urgent issues that we must confront as members of the human family on an overpopulated and changing planet, but no one person alone is going manage the enormity of the challenges we confront. Perhaps that’s clear to the reader, but for me, the more I saw denial, destruction and separation, the harder I felt I needed to work... Then I realized that it’s all about the day-to-day way in which we relate to each other. I saw how my passionate commitment to making a difference was a way of avoiding the discomfort of just “being” related to my fellow human beings.

"To really experience true contact with another person, you must
enter a realm of uncertainty together."
- Susan Campbell

There are people who think I am an extrovert who easily relates to others because I take on many challenges, and can sometimes be loud... Nothing could be further from the truth. I am painfully shy and introverted, and unless I stay busy with tasks, am completely undone with the awkwardness and uncertainty of interacting with others. Working has become a way for me to avoid experiencing the pain and discomfort that comes up in connecting with another person. While relating for me often falls into the category of a root canal or public flogging, it is becoming clear to me that it is the most important skill to practice in these times of chaos and change. I am coming to realize that the issues that arise when relating to another have the potential to create a doorway, rather than barriers, to deep interconnectedness.

Ubuntu is a Zulu word and philosophy that means, "I am a person through other people. My humanity is connected to yours." It seems that we are all on a path of awakening and that the future of humankind is absolutely connected to moving from fear to love in our relationships. It is my experience that new relationships bring up uncertainty, reveal past issues of self-doubt, abandonment, right / wrong, jealously and other discomforts. If we are able to take responsibility for our feelings and realize how we project our judgments on others, we can instead experience an awakening and self-realization. Many of us have suppressed our ability to deeply feel. My own path to rehabilitate my ability to feel has been through dance and movement, which has taken me into my body sensations, and has led me deeper into my feelings. Many people have shared similar experiences through dance and movement practice. As challenging as it can be, I believe that our salvation is tied up in our ability to feel and have compassion for others and ourselves.

"There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was
more painful than the risk it took to blossom."
- Anais Nin

Can we make all our relationships an opportunity to practice awareness? All relationships have the potential of bringing up our shadow side, the unexpected and undesirable parts of ourselves we want to avoid. What if we brought a curious attention to everyone we met and shared ourselves authentically, regardless of our fears of how painful it might be? How would our relationships look if we made relating a day to day, moment to moment, practice of being authentic? How would the world look if this practice started a global epidemic?

I hope you will listen to the two interviews on relationships in this newsletter with three of the foremost experts in the world. While much of the interviews are about having healthy primary relationships, these practices apply to all relationships.

Thank you all for our relationship. Even if we don’t know each other’s story, I share with you as a sacred partner in the global transformation to a golden age of peace, understanding and co-creating a world that works for all life. I am so grateful for all that you contribute to my life… I know my humanity is connected to yours! I will be on sabbatical in Thailand for the next month and will keep you posted through my website.

Blessings,
michael

"A person starts to live when he can live outside himself."
- Albert Einstein

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New Podcasts

Dr. Susan Campbell: Relationship as spiritual practice
Psychologist Susan Campbell has worked as a professional speaker and a dating and relationship coach for over 35 years. She is author of numerous books, including her ground-breaking The Couples Journey which introduced the idea into the mainstream of using intimate relationships as a spiritual practice.

Kathlyn & Gay Hendricks: Conscious Loving
They have been pioneers in the field of body-mind integration for over thirty years. Kathlyn and Gay have worked with over thirty thousand individuals and three thousand couples in developing their method of body-centered and relationship transformation. Together they have authored numerous books on Conscious Loving.

Alexandra Cousteau: Our Blue Legacy
Alexandra is the daughter of Philippe Cousteau and the granddaughter of world famous French explorer and filmmaker Jacques-Yves Cousteau. A dedicated environmentalist, Cousteau advocates the importance of conservation, restoration and sustainable management of water resources for a healthy planet and productive societies.

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