Back

"Transformation in Action"

I picked up the water glass from the nightstand and took a big gulp. Instantly I knew I had taken in some kind of animal and spit out an inch long scorpion. It was then that I knew she was gone. My stepmother of 57 years had been in the dying process for the past six months. In native symbolism the scorpion stands for death, dying and transitions. It also stands for control and my stepmother, whose maiden name was Severe, (Charles Dickens would love that…) maintained control to the end. If she was in pain, she would never let you know. I loved her in spite of the fact that I could never engage her in a conversation longer than two minutes. I had grown numb to her incessant criticism over the years and watched over her, as I knew my father would have wanted.

A week after she died I learned that she had completely left me out of her will. It was a shock to me, not because my father had done well in the stock market and had left her well off, although the money would have been nice, or because I was her only son, but because I felt violated, abandoned and not seen (my life long issues with my family). I have little attachment to money and am grateful for all I have been given in this life. But, the feelings of betrayal and rejection were overwhelming and I went into a period of depression, anger and deep sadness.

One thing that comes out in myths is that at the bottom of the abyss comes the voice of salvation. The black moment is the moment when the real message of transformation is going to come. At the darkest moment comes the light.
- Joseph Campbell

Every time a wave of emotion would come over me, I would say the prayer of St. Francis; “Lord make me an instrument of thy peace. Where there is hatred, let me sow love. Where there is injury, pardon…” I have a commitment to turn any suffering I experience into contribution and greater consciousness, knowing that with awareness comes a greater range of choice. I was not happy with where I was, feeling embarrassed and judging my own thoughts and feelings, so I prayed for transformation from the darkness into light.

Through my movement practice I have learned that everything is energy and energy moves in waves, waves move in patterns. I had to go to the most fundamental energetic patterns of anger, sadness, guilt, and blame to meet my resistance and remember that I not only had a choice, but an opportunity to change a life long pattern of feeling victimized and abandoned by the significant women in my life.

How could I use my pain as a contribution that would serve the greater whole of which I am an integral part? I could see that this was a deeply engrained soul pattern and if I could heal this in myself, by fully acknowledging and accepting my feelings – and recognize the amazing gift it could be for my own transformation – it could also ripple out and provide a healing for others who have been caught up in this field of blame, resistance, resentment and victimization.

Use all opportunities to make golden moments in your life without blaming someone else. Take responsibility.
Face it – Really face it! Even enjoy it. Do not dramatize it any more.
- Sai Maa Lakshmi Devi

The rate of change is escalating in the world. All of our life support systems are threatened by our lack of awareness. We face challenges that no human has ever before faced. There are two choices; The annihilation of all life on this planet or to bring forth a Golden Age of peace, harmony, love, compassion and a deep reverence for all life. Our destiny is what we create moment to moment. To build a Golden Age we must become golden beings. By choosing to be agents of transformation we demonstrate and support the coming of the Golden Age. We open to loving our own humanity, being authentic, demonstrating free choice and becoming love, awareness, peace, gratitude, and forgiveness, which is our natural state. We are the light that shines for future generations.

In the end I am not only compelled to forgive my stepmother, but to forgive myself for not seeing the evolutionary opportunity that was right in front of me. I was too caught up in the drama of my own story (of which I am the author). Even if we can’t control the circumstances, we always have a choice as to how we respond. The opportunity to be peace and to shine the light of love on all people who have ever felt betrayed, abandoned, not seen or violated became greater than my little story. In the end it occured to me that these are the kind of hurdles we all need to jump to bring forth the Golden Age.

Thank you all for enduring my very personal examples. I try to share with you real things that are occurring in my own life, which I think you might be able to relate to. Oh yes, Scorpion also represents passion. Can we turn our suffering and drama into a passionate stand for a renaissance in what it means to be human? Can we stand for a Golden Age in spite of any circumstances and evidence to the contrary?

Thank you for your partnership in this great work of transformation and co-creation…

Love and Blessings,
michael

…It is in dying to self that we are born to eternal life.
- St. Francis

Back